Don’t worry, I’m not planning on pirouetting down my local high street in a pink tutu (not in this weather anyway).

Ever since I slept under the stars in the Grand Canyon I’ve had a desire to get out there and commune with nature a lot more.

The sleeping arrangements in the Canyon

The sleeping arrangements in the Canyon

To kick things off I am now the proud owner of a new, rather swish sleeping bag but, as yet, have no plans set in place to use it.

I could of course sleep in the park opposite my flat but I can already picture the scene…cue dream sequence…

As I drifted off to sleep under the stars, protected only by my sleeping bag and the branches of the trees, the sound of muffled laughter carried over to me on the light breeze. I turned around to see a teenage couple embracing not 100 yards away from me. They fell to the ground, still giggling, as he fumbled with his zip. She grew impatient so figured she would kill some time updating her Facebook status: ‘OMG. WTF. He has no idea what he is doing. LMFAO. L8Rs BFFs’ (or some such other literary masterpiece).

Suddenly, and without realising, he knocked over the half drunk litre bottle of cider beside them and it went all over her skirt. She jumped up screaming “Eugh, I’m all sticky”. He laughs cockily thinking he’s just lost his virginity. They get up and disappear into the night, both adding yet more updates to their Facebook pages. Her: ‘What a loser, I am so dumping him’. Him: ‘Nailed it’.

I sigh as raindrops start falling, pick up my sleeping bag, trip over the now empty cider bottle, and head back up to my flat for a nice cuppa and a comfy bed.

Maybe I’ll settle for a night on my balcony in Fethiye for my first foray into the wilderness instead…

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