Last month I was given the opportunity to tick kayaking off my Bucket List.

Now, as we all know, kayaking is simply a case of getting into a small boat and paddling in a straight line – easy huh?

Well, actually, no.

First you have to get in the ruddy thing and if your aim is to do this elegantly I suggest you just turn around and go home right now. I did manage to slither down into my seat in an undignified fashion without falling over purely because my instructor was holding on to the kayak. And then there’s the getting into the water bit….picture a beached whale trying to get to the water line…yep, that was me.

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And she’s off…and already going backwards

Anyway, finally we were off and this is where I paddle in a straight line right? Ha! Obviously years of swimming in a circle because I’ve got one ear bigger than the other had got me into bad habits and that’s all I did – I went round and round and round and round. I tried to pretend I just wanted to look at the scenery behind me but I don’t think anybody was fooled.

DSCN0652After a bit of ‘1 paddle with the right, 2 paddles with the left’ I did manage to go in a forward motion and got a fair distance away from shore and actually managed to enjoy myself.

Since this first attempt, I’ve been another two times and my straight lines are getting a little longer although I do still occasionally like to take a second look at the cliffs I’ve just passed.

DSCN0671The ‘fun’ of learning wasn’t over with that first session though – during the last one I got a bit too over-confident and decided to kayak in between some rocks. Unfortunately these rocks didn’t want a mere mortal getting too close and, as the rocks above me started to close in I did the one thing you should never do in a kayak – I leaned sideways…

Cough, cough, splutter, splutter, eurghhh, water in my nose, eyes, ears…hat floating off into the distance.

Yes, that’s right, I capsized.

It was horrible.

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Me infiltrating enemy lines

And nearly 3 weeks later I’m still suffering from a ear/sinus infection…those rocks really, really didn’t want me taking a closer look.

But I will not be beaten. As soon as I gain the hearing back in my big ear I’ll be back on the water and I’ll be coming to get you rocks…this fight isn’t over…

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